NEW Social Distancing Black T Shirt
NEW Social Distancing Black T Shirt
  • Load image into Gallery viewer, NEW Social Distancing Black T Shirt
  • Load image into Gallery viewer, NEW Social Distancing Black T Shirt

NEW Social Distancing Black T Shirt

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“Social Distancing” Black T-Shirt

Now YOU can spread the message and help the world heal faster from Coronavirus, and have a good ol' fashioned lol - all at the same time!

  • 100% Pre-shrunk, hand-stretched cotton
  • Relaxed, breathable and light feel - perfect for long days of wear!
  • Screen-printed by hand in Torquay, Australia
  • NEW Innovative design!
  • Regular fit - no tight shirt fitting nonsense here! 
  • Fits true To size
  • Comes in Black
  • Cold Machine or cold hand wash only. 

Order yours now whilst stocks last! 

As Featured on 

Toilet paper crisis tees on 3aw

Here's the story so far...

First, the humble Toilet Bog Roll the hottest commodity on the market since your high school crush... 

Then, we all got kicked out the office door to take the world's longest "sickie" in human history...

(Apparently, your boss told you were going to be doing something they called "Remote Work"?! Wishful thinking, I know!)

And then, the government called off almost-all sporting events and to those they didn't - they're now playing in empty stadiums. 

Sounds a hell of a crisis, right?

When we all thought it sounded a little-too-ridiculous, Scomo and the rest of the modern world drop THIS BOMBSHELL ON US. 

We, loving Australians, can no longer embrace. 

No handshakes. 

No touching.

Not even a single first bump. 

In every corner of the world, your everyday bro has lost his identity as it was once wrapped up in his secret handshake only you knew! 

All thanks to this: 


And here we have it.

We may let the Coronavirus take us away from mates and parties, our 9-to-5, the Footy or even the F1, BUT - THIS SHIT WON'T TAKE AWAY OUR SENSE OF HUMOUR.

(Let's be real: it's an extended staycation. We all need our own *legit* excuses to binge watch Breaking Bad just one more time!)

For the first time in history, we finally have a water-tight reason to get those boomers rattling on about their own conspiracy theories out the room in the name of biosecurity! 

(1.5m to be precise)

Social Distancing for the win, yo!  

This printed shirt was designed by us with our mate, Narelle from ‘round the corner, who can draw the t*ts off a bull. And because we designed and printed it ourselves, you won’t be able to scoop up this bad boy anywhere else in the world. 

(We did it right here, in Straya.) 

We’re printing our 100% Hand-Stretched-Cotton crisis Tees on Australian soil - just around the corner from your local milk bar and helping support our local small businesses along the way.

Again ladies and gentlemen, this is a “let’s just see what happens” kinda thing, so we’re not offering this Australian-Designed and printed item for the $60 or $80 you’re used to paying for local quality.

In fact, all you’ll need to scrape together to take your shirt home is OUR FIRST DROP PRICE OF ONLY $37.95!

Naturally, we’re ain't flinging this offer to “everyone on the internet” so if you don’t feel like getting yours - SEND THIS TO A FRIEND you know will wear this proudly as he or she fends off all the personal space invaders in the name of conquering coronavirus once and for all! 

Thanks for reading guys and enjoy your new purchase.

About Us

It All Started When Hell Broke Loose (And We Couldn't Wipe Our Arses)...

So we thought "bugger it!" Let's enjoy the time we've got and take the piss whilst we can.

Our Team Of Everyday Australians 

Valeri Tkatchenko - Chief Doer Of Physical Sh*t, Web Guy And Organiser Of Conversations (Also Makes Good F*cking Coffee)

Crisis Tee Founder Valeri Tkatchenko

Here he is! Valeri, King of the Peasants, spends most of his time losing money on the Stockmarket and flinging espresso's along bench tops at Mikro Coffee Roasters.

Apart from being a low-key weapon in the coffee community, he also spends too much of his life away from humans and distilling vodka from fruit scraps. 

Dean Denny - Deano from Marketing, Facebook-er And All-Round Flog

Crisis Tees Founder Dean Denny

How terrible is this dude's bow tie? Anyway - he's alright (although a little strange). Dean's got our back when it comes to developing the whackiest Facebook Ads and product descriptions on our site. He thinks he's Rocky Balboa, but he's more like Scrappy-Doo. 

Ask him about how he feels about Donald Trump. Then, just sit back and relax - you're in for a treat! 

Mel Bevahousin - Listener Of The Peoples, Savage Commenter And Mini Golf Extraordinaire

[ Photo and Profile Coming - She's Still Doing Her Makeup! ]


Narelle Craven - The-Sketch-And-Draw-Silly-Stuff-At-2am Pro And Crazy Cat Lady

Narelle can certainly draw the tits off a bull.

And there's nothing quite like her ability to pump out hella whacky shirt designs on notice shorter than Danny Devito's waistline! 

In fact, she came up with this design at 2AM.

(You do you, Narelle)

But if we're ever serious, we're serious about this: she's talented and we can't think of anyone with a cooler pot plant collection than her. 

P.s Be nice to Narelle, or she'll set her 2 "Super Cute" cats upon you!  

Alistair - Everyone's Favourite Local Hip Pocket-Tee Printing Hipster

If there was any Dad-like figure on the team, it would have to be good ol' Al.

Alistair never says no to a silly tee shirt idea (but he has deprived us of eating our stockpiled mars bars from the fridge once or twice!). In fact, he prints our funny tees faster than Steven Bradbury's claim to fame! 

As you can imagine, Al has a solid sense of humour and knows how important timely delivery of our tees are. We can't thank this guy enough for his support and are truly blessed by having someone doing such ripper work right around the corner and down under!