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I Survived The 2020 Toilet Paper Crisis Black T-Shirt

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You made it this far. Now tell your story to those “brave enough” to listen.

  • 100% Pre-shrunk, hand-stretched cotton
  • Relaxed, breathable and light feel - perfect for long days of wear!
  • Screen-printed by hand and designed in Torquay, Australia
  • Regular fit - no tight shirt fitting nonsense here! 
  • Fits true To size
  • Comes in White, and Black
  • Cold Machine or cold hand wash only. 

Order yours now whilst stocks last! 

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Toilet paper crisis tees on 3aw

The Long Story

Has Australia Gone Completely Insane?

For the first time in human history, the humble Toilet Bog Roll is the country’s most precious resource. 

And thanks to the panic buying housewives of your neighbourhood, your SUPERMARKET DOESN’T HAVE A SINGLE ONE IN STOCK. 

And here we have it! #ToiletPaperCrisis2020 - and it’s all thanks to one nincompoop on the other side of the planet who decided to EAT A BAT 🦇!!!! 

But what’s important: You’re bigger, you’re better, and you’re not taking part in any of this nonsense. 

You’re a survivor, and my word you’re proud of it!

To pay tribute to #ToiletPaperCrisis2020 - three ordinary Australian’s (just like you) said “whatthuheck” and decided to create a LIMITED RUN OF 30 “I Survived The 2020 Toilet Paper Crisis” T-SHIRTS for the brave who wish to tell the tale. 

At first, we were only doing 30 of these bad boys as a bit of fun between friends and to ligthen up what seems to be a really stressful time for Australians and the whole world. We originally made 30 tees because that’s all we could really afford to make for our friends and family and a few early toilet paper crisis survivors. We have since had to rush to print more!

This printed shirt has designed by us with our mate, Narelle from ‘round the corner, who can draw the t*ts off a bull. You won’t be able to get this commemorative shirt anywhere in the world! 

And because we’re keeping it true blue, we’re printing our 100% Hand-Stretched-Cotton crisis Tees on Australian soil - just around the corner from your local milk bar! 

Strewth! What a time to be alive…. 

This is a “let’s just see what happens” kinda thing, so we’re not offering this Australian designed and printed item for $60 or $80 you’re used to paying for local quality. 

You’re not going to even pay our low Direct-to-the-battler price of $54.95. 

In fact, all you’ll need to scratch together to take your shirt home is OUR SPECIAL TRUE BLUE INTRODUCTORY PRICE OF ONLY $29.75 - 45% OFF!

Naturally, we’re not making offers like this to “everyone on the internet”, so if you don’t feel like getting yours - TAG A FRIEND you know will wear this proudly as he or she soldiers through the insanity we’re all experiencing in this great southern land. 

Thanks for reading guys and enjoy your new purchase.

About Us

It All Started When Hell Broke Loose (And We Couldn't Wipe Our Arses)...

So we thought "bugger it!" Let's enjoy the time we've got and take the piss whilst we can.

Our Team Of Everyday Australians 

Valeri Tkatchenko - Chief Doer Of Physical Sh*t, Web Guy And Organiser Of Conversations (Also Makes Good F*cking Coffee)

Crisis Tee Founder Valeri Tkatchenko

Here he is! Valeri, King of the Peasants, spends most of his time losing money on the Stockmarket and flinging espresso's along bench tops at Mikro Coffee Roasters.

Apart from being a low-key weapon in the coffee community, he also spends too much of his life away from humans and distilling vodka from fruit scraps. 

Dean Denny - Deano from Marketing, Facebook-er And All-Round Flog

Crisis Tees Founder Dean Denny

How terrible is this dude's bow tie? Anyway - he's alright (although a little strange). Dean's got our back when it comes to developing the whackiest Facebook Ads and product descriptions on our site. He thinks he's Rocky Balboa, but he's more like Scrappy-Doo. 

Ask him about how he feels about Donald Trump. Then, just sit back and relax - you're in for a treat! 

Mel Bevahousin - Listener Of The Peoples, Savage Commenter And Mini Golf Extraordinaire

[ Photo and Profile Coming - She's Still Doing Her Makeup! ]


Narelle Craven - The-Sketch-And-Draw-Silly-Stuff-At-2am Pro And Crazy Cat Lady

Narelle can certainly draw the tits off a bull.

And there's nothing quite like her ability to pump out hella whacky shirt designs on notice shorter than Danny Devito's waistline! 

In fact, she came up with this design at 2AM.

(You do you, Narelle)

But if we're ever serious, we're serious about this: she's talented and we can't think of anyone with a cooler pot plant collection than her. 

P.s Be nice to Narelle, or she'll set her 2 "Super Cute" cats upon you!  

Alistair - Everyone's Favourite Local Hip Pocket-Tee Printing Hipster

If there was any Dad-like figure on the team, it would have to be good ol' Al.

Alistair never says no to a silly tee shirt idea (but he has deprived us of eating our stockpiled mars bars from the fridge once or twice!). In fact, he prints our funny tees faster than Steven Bradbury's claim to fame! 

As you can imagine, Al has a solid sense of humour and knows how important timely delivery of our tees are. We can't thank this guy enough for his support and are truly blessed by having someone doing such ripper work right around the corner and down under!